The MANdates by Dave Singleton

The MANdates by Dave Singleton is one of those books that reminds me of the good old days when Dan Savage and others were writing dating articles for gay.com. Yes this book is about gay dating. More precisely, it is about men dating men, and it's a dog-eat-dog world out there. The book is trying to be a bit tongue-in-cheek, but I could not deny the truth behind every little joke about the stereotypes governing the gay community. Without further ado, I bring to you: The Mandates. 

Basically this is a step by step guide to gay male dating. It takes you from the online profile to the first date, to meeting the friends, family and eventually to marriage with the right man. Don't expect it to be a concise guide to getting the man you want, it is more like a book with pointers on how not to completely fuck things up. Some things might apply to you and some things might not. If you're in your early twenties, you might have no idea who Cher or Liza Minelli are, and you wouldn't care much either way. Apart from the archaic music references which  fit the bill since the book was released in 2004, the book is still quite actual and the dating rules haven't changed much.

I think the author was trying to fill more pages by adding a couple of quizzes, but then again  I think I can blame it on the times because back then dating quizzes were pretty popular. I had tried their validity with my best friend and apparently, we are a match made in heaven. Then again, we have known each other for more than 7 years, we know almost everything about the other and, even though we sometimes say mean stuff and fuck with the other's mind , we stick together. So I guess this is a true friendship after all and, in a different set of circumstances, maybe even (dare I say it?) marriage.

So the book is old, but actual. It tries to be funny, but I didn't see the funny side. It is informative, but if you're versed in the art of dating and relationships, this book doesn't bring anything new to the table. Basically it says: be a decent human being, know what you want, try to find the kind of guy that fits you best and, once you find him, try not to fuck things up. Is that a good plan? I'd say it is. 

50 things you can do today to manage stress by Wendy Green

50 things you can do today to manage stress by Wendy Green is one of those books you usually look at in a book shop, browse a bit, but in the end you do not buy. Inside you just find advice that you already knew. I am not saying that it is a bad book, but I am also saying that it is not very special either. A Google search would get you the same results as buying this one. On the other hand, if you'd rather skip the research and just find all the useful information in one place, Wendy Green's book offers you exactly that.

What I liked about this book is that it gives you comprehensive explanations on the ways to manage stress. It even gives you the good and the side effects of certain popular supplements you can take to manage anxiety. Recommending other books, seemed a bit like a marketing gimmick, even though the author's intentions were honorable.   The advice on managing stress at work, I do not find valid. I had tried it in the past and it didn't work: taking a break is not always viable to do, certain teas do help but not always, decluttering my desk didn't help because by the end of the day it was just like it was when I got to work, to-do lists don't work either because I am always under fire from my boss and she comes up with new and unexpected changes. I guess the book is not for someone who works in an uber-stressful workplace.

On the other hand, assertiveness, anger management and overcoming fear ideas were appealing to try. I mean it takes practice, but on the other hand I found them like fighting fire with fire. Overcoming fear by facing your fears, seems a bit more stressful than just avoiding the fear factors in the first place. I also do not deny the use of Asian medicine and meditation: T'ai Chi, Yoga and meditation might work, but are you really in the mood for that when you're already stressed and pumped up with adrenaline, or exhausted after a crazy day at work? I think not. She does make some valid points but, let's face it, who has time to write a journal about every day stressors?!

All in all this is a competent book to read as a start-up guide on how to clean your life from bullshit that drives you nuts. I am a bit conflicted whether or not to recommend it instead of a bit of internet research. But then again you do get a list of natural supplements and their side side effects, that it takes a bit of googling to find out. This time is your call. I am not going to stress about it.

Cop Out by KC Burn

Cop Out by KC Burn  is one of those gay mystery / romantic novels and truth be told, I quite enjoyed it. The cover almost made me not to start the book, but in the end I figured I should give it a try; given the fact that I needed an easy read. It's not like I had enough of intelligent literature, but since I am single again, I needed a bit of fantasy. Oh man, this book had lost some points due to its cover. But, as the saying goes: don't judge a book by it's cover. This time the saying is spot on.

The book starts when two cops do a drug bust that turns bad. One dies and his partner survives. The surviving cop, a decent guy, is trying to connect with his former partner's family, during this process he finds out that his partner was not the man he thought it was. Actually, he finds out things about himself that he never expected. This is as much as you get from me about the storyline. I assure you that is pretty entertaining. At least it was for me, in my actual state of mind. 

The character development is decent by today's standards. It's not as complex as any of the Crazy Russian Authors', but it is a whole lot better than other books. The dialogues are fast paced and seem genuine, not forced or written in haste. The inner workings of the main character are accurate and the sex scenes are hot. They were a lot hotter and more detailed than... 50 shades of Grey; and I am not saying that just because of the gay sex. 

For an erotic novel, I found it lacking that much eroticism. There are a few scenes here and there, but the story as a whole was much more interesting than the sex bits. I'd say it's more of a romance, than an erotic novel. So, if you're gay or bi, it is a good read. If you're straight, and a man, then the cover is a clear indicator that it's not for you. If you're a fag-hag, then MAYBE you'd enjoy it.

The Book On the Taboo Against Knowing Who You Are by Alan Watts

The Book On the Taboo Against Knowing Who You Are by Alan Watts is a bit hard to digest, especially if you have a certain view of yourself, your life, the universe and religion. Being a philosophical concept, it took me several reads of certain paragraphs in order to fully comprehend the ideas proposed here. If you are religious, this book might not be for you because it tends to destroy your already programmed vision of a deity, thus it might offend you or shift your beliefs. 

As hard as it may be, the author suggest that you're IT. Let's go with the generic term of GOD. So he says that you're GOD and you have absolute power of the universe by pure existence. The concept is simple, yet hard to swallow: you are part of this whole, thus you are not an individual. Your reality is based on your actions and observations and they change the world around you through your own perception. I liked the analogy with the rainbow: in a certain position, where air humidity is optimal and light pends at an optimal angle you see a rainbow, but others might not if they are not in that same place or not looking in that direction.

Through this book the author tries to say that we have been educated to live within a box a tiny box of consciousness that was imposed by society in order for us to become obedient by giving us double standards: you should be independent, but you cannot do this or that. We see ourselves as individuals through our material form, even though we are better defined through our actions and thoughts. He goes beyond this by trying to say that we define the universe with our existence, even though we are just mayflies in a larger scale. This theory is somewhat full of contradictions, but so fun to play with it and see it evolve.

I would say this is one of the most interesting books I have come across lately. As long as you manage to read it while leaving your beliefs at the door, you would probably enjoy it a lot. I was expecting a self-improvement book with dos and don'ts  but this came as a big surprise and a good workout for my intellect. Read it at your own risk.

Predictably Irrational by Dan Ariely

Predictably Irrational by Dan Ariely is a book that was recommended to me by a guy from a human resources firm after an interview. Even though I am still waiting for his answer about the job, I did manage to find an interesting book that gives me a glimpse on how behavioral economics and respectively marketing works. So whether or not I get the job, I did learn something new, hence I did get something good out of that.

This book sheds some light on how we are making day to day decisions based on our cultural and individual background. Depending on our situation we tend to conform to the majority or go against it, when purchasing goods. Depends on how we want to be perceived in society, even though what we had bought might or might not be what we had wanted. Do you want to conform or do you want to appear as an individual? Simple as that. The book is based mostly on behavioral experiments put together by the author in different locations and with different target groups. Most of these experiments were done on students from different high profile universities from the United States since the author is in fact a professor of social sciences.

Another thing I had learned is that everybody cheats, lies and steals even though the core values are good. As long as actual money is involved people tend to make more pragmatic decisions regarding theft than when goods are involved. For example you'd be more tempted to take a pen from work than to actually get some money from the communal jar of change in order to buy a pen. As long as there is something between your need or desire and the actual money, your perspective on being honest gets a little blurry. Another example that applies to me is when you buy something and you base your decision on extensive research especially if you have to choose between two similar things. All that wasted time on research in order to decide on a cellphone over the other can be translated onto missed opportunities of actually enjoying a cellphone (just an example).

This is a very interesting book on how our mind works, what makes us tick and how companies can take advantage on predicting our irrational behavior. I would say this is a must read for everyone, because our society is influenced by brands, labels, big companies and the overall majority. Why not take back this power and use it to our own advantage? One last thought: nothing is truly free, even free stuff comes with a price.

Aerial Mapping by Edgar Falkner and Dennis Morgan

This time I am reviewing a different kind of book from what you got used to see on my blog. Aerial Mapping by Edgar Falkner and Dennis Morgan is a technical  book about the tools and processes to take into consideration when you want to do aerial maps. If you have no clue what those are, think about Google Earth, Google Maps, Bing Maps etc.

This book is a bit old in regards with today's standards. It had been written about 10 years ago so you can guess that the technology has evolved exponentially since then. Even with its age, this book gives valuable information to the student or engineer who wants to learn more about the principles of how aerial maps are created. 

As I had said before, the information is old, but it still covers the 2002 emerging technologies suited for orthophotos and other aerial views. The archaic methods of photogrammetry are easier to comprehend today's intricacies hidden under the hood of a computer program. Should you think about this book as "too old for modern times"? Think about it as learning the basics. Is it an exhaustive explanation of the entire process? No, but it gives you an idea of how things work.

If you want to get into this field of work, it is a must read because it covers the basics. If you want detailed information about photogrammetry and how aerial mapping is done, you should look for another book.

50 Shades of Grey by E L James

I started  50 Shades of Grey because i wanted  see what the deal is and why is everybody making such a big deal of it. I had dropped it after the first 150 pages because it is agonizingly slow. Ok, I get now why this book was such a big hit: its main subject is somewhat taboo, for the regular folk but it is not that big of a deal really. BDSM is starting to become somewhat mainstream nowadays. But an erotic book about somewhat  kinky sex might appeal to some.

The characters  seem like they had been conceived by a nun or by a frustrated teenage girl. Seriously now: you get the filthy rich billionaire who is also very hot, the virginal student who isn't that hot (have you seen E L James' picture? I get that now), her  nosy roommate who is also a reporter and the best friend who is in love with the virgin but she doesn't love him. Sounds familiar? I am thinking sparkling vampires right about now. 

Why is this book bad? Because it is sloooooow. Watching paint dry on the walls is faster. I do not care about the main character's internal turmoils and the rich guy is very bland. The author is trying to cover that by making him mysterious, which he isn't really.  He's just a rich pervert who wants kinky sex. The whole "inner goddess" thing is just a way to appeal to women who actually need to feel special, since they lack character and have no sex-appeal. I simply cannot get over the fact that she is still a virgin  at 21. Girls nowadays start their sex life as early as 14 (hence the term "jail-bait"). She has graduated college and haven't had sex during that time? What school did she attend - nun seminary?  ...And another thing, even though the BDSM contract seems well thought out, the requirements are vanilla by BDSM  standards. Domination, lax rules and butt plugs are way too common nowadays. I give the benefit of the doubt for mentioning fisting, but I guess the exchange of fluids is a bit gross for the common housewife (urination, spitting etc.)

If you are a girl interested in erotic novels, this book might be for you. If you are a housewife, hide it from your husband because he might want to fuck you in the ass while you do the dishes and then give you a beating cause you missed a spot. If you are into BDSM and you need some pointers, save yourself the time and just look for some porn or hit a specialized  forum. If you are a masochistic submissive wife: read the entire series. Guys... just go for the porn, it is way more fun and educative, also less time consuming.