The MANdates by Dave Singleton

The MANdates by Dave Singleton is one of those books that reminds me of the good old days when Dan Savage and others were writing dating articles for gay.com. Yes this book is about gay dating. More precisely, it is about men dating men, and it's a dog-eat-dog world out there. The book is trying to be a bit tongue-in-cheek, but I could not deny the truth behind every little joke about the stereotypes governing the gay community. Without further ado, I bring to you: The Mandates. 

Basically this is a step by step guide to gay male dating. It takes you from the online profile to the first date, to meeting the friends, family and eventually to marriage with the right man. Don't expect it to be a concise guide to getting the man you want, it is more like a book with pointers on how not to completely fuck things up. Some things might apply to you and some things might not. If you're in your early twenties, you might have no idea who Cher or Liza Minelli are, and you wouldn't care much either way. Apart from the archaic music references which  fit the bill since the book was released in 2004, the book is still quite actual and the dating rules haven't changed much.

I think the author was trying to fill more pages by adding a couple of quizzes, but then again  I think I can blame it on the times because back then dating quizzes were pretty popular. I had tried their validity with my best friend and apparently, we are a match made in heaven. Then again, we have known each other for more than 7 years, we know almost everything about the other and, even though we sometimes say mean stuff and fuck with the other's mind , we stick together. So I guess this is a true friendship after all and, in a different set of circumstances, maybe even (dare I say it?) marriage.

So the book is old, but actual. It tries to be funny, but I didn't see the funny side. It is informative, but if you're versed in the art of dating and relationships, this book doesn't bring anything new to the table. Basically it says: be a decent human being, know what you want, try to find the kind of guy that fits you best and, once you find him, try not to fuck things up. Is that a good plan? I'd say it is. 

Cop Out by KC Burn

Cop Out by KC Burn  is one of those gay mystery / romantic novels and truth be told, I quite enjoyed it. The cover almost made me not to start the book, but in the end I figured I should give it a try; given the fact that I needed an easy read. It's not like I had enough of intelligent literature, but since I am single again, I needed a bit of fantasy. Oh man, this book had lost some points due to its cover. But, as the saying goes: don't judge a book by it's cover. This time the saying is spot on.

The book starts when two cops do a drug bust that turns bad. One dies and his partner survives. The surviving cop, a decent guy, is trying to connect with his former partner's family, during this process he finds out that his partner was not the man he thought it was. Actually, he finds out things about himself that he never expected. This is as much as you get from me about the storyline. I assure you that is pretty entertaining. At least it was for me, in my actual state of mind. 

The character development is decent by today's standards. It's not as complex as any of the Crazy Russian Authors', but it is a whole lot better than other books. The dialogues are fast paced and seem genuine, not forced or written in haste. The inner workings of the main character are accurate and the sex scenes are hot. They were a lot hotter and more detailed than... 50 shades of Grey; and I am not saying that just because of the gay sex. 

For an erotic novel, I found it lacking that much eroticism. There are a few scenes here and there, but the story as a whole was much more interesting than the sex bits. I'd say it's more of a romance, than an erotic novel. So, if you're gay or bi, it is a good read. If you're straight, and a man, then the cover is a clear indicator that it's not for you. If you're a fag-hag, then MAYBE you'd enjoy it.

Mistakes and Ladders by Pip McCormac

Oh man, where should I begin... Mistakes and Ladders was spot on what gay life is all about for most men: promiscuity, drugs, drinking until wasted, clubs, innumerable dates, discounted designer clothes, insecurity and lots of drama. Hell... Been there done that, apart from the drugs bit - it has never been my style. 

This book retells all the failed relationships and dates of the author. He even brings to the table his drug addiction and how his friends staged an intervention for his sorry ass. Always looking for "the one" he kept dating guys and making himself believing that each one is the one he'll marry and be his husband. He played the game and, in the gay world, very few people manage to actually find what they are looking for (reasoning that they know what they are looking for). It's a jungle out there and it's every man for himself.

This quote reminded me how shallow this world is and at some level I still am part of it: "In the morning he made me a cup of tea and we watched a bit of TV in bed. In gay terms, it felt like getting engaged." Yeah, we live fast and outside of the society's norms but deep down, everyone at least has thought about finding that special someone. To contradict myself here is another quote: "Anyone you take home will have slept with your old one at some point. There are only so many of us to go around - this is a fact of gay math." Sadly it is so, due to the fact that once you get into a scene and you're still looking to find a man, you probably end up shagging someone who shagged your ex or your ex's ex before you. Just imagine the complications and the drama.

This book is a gay version of Sex and the city, where the main character embodies all of those bitches' traits. Realizing that I had actually seen the series and the movie makes me cringe. Anyway, this is a book about gay life in UK and it's somewhat funny and thought provoking at times. I wouldn't call it "a must read", but it is OK enough to give a bit of insight of how gay men are besides Queer as Folk and Modern family.

Corrupted by Todd Young

Another easy read, a book that lasted a few hours. This is another gay-themed book about a high-school dropout - Bradley and how his life turned from bad to worse in a way due to his own fault and weakness.

Bradley dropped out of high-school because he got bullied by a stupid jock called Tom who shamed him in front of the entire school. Now Bradley is living from day to day with his friend Justin. Justin is taking advantage of Brad's crush for him and keeps hustling him for money, by playing a sexually ambiguous mind game.

From lack of money and lack of jobs Bradley turns to porn and a life of striptease and hustling. Being an orphan this was Brad's only chance of survival in New York and he keeps supporting his sexually confusing room mate. His life goes downhill with every bad choice he makes. This book is not a coming of age read, it is more of a story about compromise for a 19 year old in a harsh environment where sex and money play the main roles in his young life.

Though sexy at times and harsh from time to time, the book makes you feel glad that you do not have that life. The choices are somewhat immature and rushed, hence the title. It is a story about how people take advantage of the needy, corrupting them. This is definitely a good read though.

Sucking Sherbet Lemons by Michael Carson

A coming-of-age novel, this is how I'd describe this book. This one has heart and if you are gay or bi, you will probably find yourself in some of the characters. As a chubby gay kid, I know what Benson was going through: the torment from the peers and the conflicting feelings about my sexuality. Lucky for me, I was never a believer in the Christian dogma, so I guess that my angst was not influenced by the Church.

 

Benson is a chubby kid who finds out that he's gay after playing with a couple of boys in the garage. He turns to religion, hoping that he'll be able to find help and a cure. You can probably guess what a Catholic school might be like, but the depiction seems genuine and you can relate to the main character in many levels. 

Would I call it "The Great British Novel"?  Probably not, but as a novel about growing up I can definitely compare it with "The Catcher in the Rye". I can honestly say that, I my opinion, "Sucking Sherbet Lemons" trumps the hell out of the latter. But, since it is a gay novel, it will never get its well deserved recognition. 

I am glad I found this little gem. I usually am weary about gay novels, because they turn lewd at one point or another. This book has some sexy moments, but leaves out the raunchy details. I think this is a serious book from which everyone can learn something about himself and about the world. Moral of the book: accept who you are and be happy with it.

Cocktails and Cockpics - A Grindr Love Story by Chris Tracey

This novel is gay. I mean it: this is a gay novel. The action happens nowadays and it is reminiscent of the show "Friends". It is the story of 4 flat mates: the gay rich closeted and shy man, the slutty and mean gay guy who knows the scene, the fag hag who is secretly in love with one of the gay guys and the  straight guy  pretending to be gay in order to live in a nice apartment with cheap rent. You can guess the implications of this.

The novel is quite predictable, once you start knowing the characters. From the first quarter you will know how it ends. On the other hand, I believe it to capture a lot of the phases of gay life, so it is not about the destination, but the journey. Amazingly enough I found out that the scene and all the problems a gay man has are the same everywhere: from coming out, to finding a boyfriend and even discussing about having an open relationship.

The novel brings something I haven't seen before in the genre: no explicit sex scenes and the perspective of the fag hag. You might think that a book about a shy man who wants a boyfriend might lack substance, but you'd be wrong.  "What's perfect isn't perfection, it's what's enough for you and for me." - Peter (the main character) discussing his relationship with Dave (the boyfriend).

As a gay man I had asked myself the question: "What happens to gays in the end?".  Read the book and find out.

I haven't decided what new book to start, so check my blog later for an update. :)