Castaways by Brian Keene

Castaways by Brian Keene is a horror book, or at least that's how it was meant to be. The book follows the lines of the TV show Survivor, where a group of people are put on a deserted island and they form a tribe and then try to win different challenges in order to get immunity so the don't get voted off the island. Technically "Castaways" might as well have been called "Survivor", but I guess the author didn't want to face any copyright law suits.

The book is predictable and since it is so predictable this review will contain spoilers. You were warned. The book begins with a group of people participating in a contest like Survivor, and they say that is reality TV. The whole action starts when Cyclone Ivan hits the island and all hell breaks loose. The contestants find out that the island is not deserted but inhabited by a pack of inbred pack of neanderthals (a missing link actually). So the hominids want to eat the men and rape the females so they can increase their gene pool and that's exactly what happens. 

The book was fun, but like I said before, very predictable. After the first 3 chapters you'll know how most of the action is going to take place. You'll keep reading it so that you find out who lives eventually, if any and who dies and how. The action is entertaining and simple enough to keep track and remember where you left it. What this book lacks is character development, some characters get more developed than others. I think that a horror book where people die, part of the horror is knowing the character and having a bit of connection with it. 

For my next book I shall try to find something with more substance. I feel that I need to get more from a book, than just entertainment. Hopefully something interesting shall drop in my hands.  I am tired of horror and sex books. We'll see what pops up next...

Abraham Lincoln, Vampire Hunter - the movie

Well... well... well... I had finally managed to see the cinematic adaptation of Abraham Lincoln, Vampire Hunter, a book I had written about  a while back. My expectations were low. I mean they were so low, that I had waited to see it online, than to actually pay and go to the cinema. During the movie I kinda wished I went to the cinema for this one, because a lot of the action scenes were created for 3D and the images were very well done. 

The movie takes about 3-4 main ideas from the book, but the overall feeling is that only the title keeps a constant similarity. Most characters are there, but instead of a historical book with some vampire action, the movie is a lot of vampire action with very little history. I guess the movie makers felt that the book was not as juicy as the public might have wanted. Not even the main ideas, that were borrowed from the book, were not kept close to the original. In percentages I can say that the movie has a 10% similarity with the book (title included).

If you want too see a vampire movie with lots of special effects, beautiful CGI and how Abe Lincoln is swinging his axe a la Blade with his sword, you should definitely watch this movie. If you happen to own a 3D screen, do yourself a favor and watch it in 3D. I did mention Blade because in a way this is the closest vampire action movie I could think of. Oh and the train action reminded me of Priest.  I am still waiting for the following movies: George Washington, cherry tree cutter; Theodore Roosevelt, butterfly catcher; Bill Clinton, assistant fucker and George Bush, pot smoker.

Only one question remains: would Honest Abe kick the shit out of Edward the sparkling vampire? I'd say: DEFFO. :)

50 ways to play: BDSM for nice people by Debra and Don Macleod

50 ways to play: BDSM for nice people is a book about kink. I would call this book a short introduction to the vanilla side of BDSM. It is a light book and an easy read and I think that the cover is a definite indicator of the target audience. Oh hell, I'll just say it, it's for those straight folks that have sex under the covers with the light turned off in the missionary position, who might need a bit of spicing up of their sex life.

I did mention vanilla BDSM because the authors are trying not to scare those "nice people". On the other hand this book kinda misses the entire point of BDSM as a subculture, by trying too hard to make it seem like a walk in the park, than a walk to the dungeon. Ok, maybe I am more hardcore than the authors. They manage to cover the basics, but I was hoping that they'd get into more detail about  the kinky stuff. They talk about the atmosphere, domination and submission, mind games, bondage, spanking, flogging, clamps, dirty talk, temperature play, pornography and a bit of the psychology of the entire thing.

While reading this book, you can have a feel what are the authors' favorite sex positions and plays (hint: spread eagle, face up on the bed or on an ottoman and glass toys). Since Don is not fond of anal play on himself, he doesn't even mention it for men, not even a finger up the ass, not even fisting. The book is ok as a whole, but the structure is kind of lacking because they tried to hit the 50 mark. They mention temperature play where they talk about glass toys, but ice and hot wax are 2 different subjects. Does this make sense? Not to me. Also, they state that a woman masturbating in front of a man can definitely get him crazy hot with desire, as if that is every man's fantasy. I can argue about that too.

I can honestly say that it seemed like a brochure for a spa vacation, than a book about BDSM and kink. This book is more innocent than today's high school kids and although it wants to be risque and sexy, it fails on both accounts. If you never tried BDSM and want some tame ideas for sex, get this book; otherwise hit a BDSM forum and talk to the real Masters and slaves and everybody in between. One word of advice: if your partner is bound and gagged, I don't think he/she will appreciate the idea of being gang-bangged by your other Master friends without a prior talk. Just saying...

Why We Suck: A Feel Good Guide to Staying Fat, Loud, Lazy and Stupid by Denis Leary

My oh my! Where do I find these books...? Looking back at what I had posted on this blog, I realize that I am going from underground, to mainstream and then back to the underground. The internet is a place of wonder where you can find all sorts of crazy shit. Since I am not an American I can definitely say that I do not consider myself connected to this book in most ways, but the American culture is starting to rub off on Europeans.

This book is hilarious. It was meant to be funny, but also thought-provoking and the author nailed it. Why we suck is in a way a comparison between generations. The author tries to compare his childhood to the kids today. He's trying to explain that the old ways, when kids were spanked for doing mischief or getting some early lessons on winning and losing (even on the playground), are a better upbringing than an overprotective society where "all kids are winners". This book is all about family and how the author had to deal with his brothers, bullies, girls, his own kids, a wife, work, God, you name it.

I do have to say that his arguments are valid and spot on, but his views can be quite misogynistic or homophobic at times. Let's just say that he doesn't give a rat's ass about political correctness and the book would have lost its humor without some stereotypes thrown in or without some over the top radical views. If you like stand-up comedy, this book is for you: it's funny, heartwarming at times and rude most of the time. 

I hate it when it takes so long to post something here, but work and everything else (read LIFE) have kept me from reading as much as I did before. I shall not forget this blog and I shall keep posting whenever I get to finish a book, or not (happened before, unfortunately). Keeping this blog going is a promise to myself and I intend to stick to it.